About Raquel Gonzalez
This blog is my ‘OM’. I started writing it and collecting photos during treatment as a way of putting my thoughts into written words, as a way of telling a story of a blessed and cursed battle, as a way of explaining the evolution of the opinion I have of myself.
Putting the bullshit aside: I have breast cancer. Sometimes I feel badass. Some days I feel grown up (the grown up I dreamed of as a child). Cancer has been for me, the weirdest combination of the worst and the best that has ever happened to me. I’ve been bald for six months and even though I miss my long hair nothing can beat a 5 minute shower.
I curse here but I assure you that I curse more IRL. I curse in English and in Spanish because neither one of those is my children’s native language.
I carelessly drop my thoughts and perspective here and I do it in English. I’m aware that I have tons of grammatical mistakes. I’ve have had to communicate mostly in English since I was about 20 when I got out of my safe countryside home in Costa Rica in the desperate search for the american dream. I didn’t find it but I stroke gold instead and found my husband (we actually met twice). English is what we speak together and eleven years of marriage after we still crack up when I say words that ‘don’t mean what I think they mean’.
I make fun of cancer as often as possible because it’s good for my soul. Every laugh is directed at my own (personal) journey. We all deal with the news and the struggles in different ways; making a joke of it or being totally devastated doesn’t makes us more or less of a (choice-less) fighter. We, the annoyingly positive ones, deal with our tons of shit too. Not all posts are full of smart-ass-ness, positivity and ‘OM’. Keep in mind that I do listen to Eminem quite often.
I am a woman, a wife, a mom, a girl, a sister, a friend, a handbag designer, a handbag maker, a costarrican, an israeli, an american and a cancer survivor. I live in the holy land, the jewish state or the America-Wanna-Be and I fucking love it, most of the time. I dislike politics. I’ve done a lot or I’ve done too little: depends who you ask.
Oh! I’m also a singer (totally kidding, I sing horribly but still sing all day!). Enjoy yourselves and stay healthy!